Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Not the right time

Well, after a couple days to really think about the way I'm feeling I called the adoption agency and told them that I don't think this girl is right for us. I hope another family feels called to adopt this princess and give her a family. Along with the feelings of uncertainties I have realized that I think we are more ready to answer the call than earlier this year and should move forward to make this a reality. We plan to get on a waiting list and when the right child comes along we will be asked to review her file. I have to trust in God's plan for us even though my heart aches for another little girl.

Monday, November 17, 2008

long time, no see

After a long absence from any writing in the adoption blog, I have returned. Hopefully nobody checks the blog anymore so for awhile I can blog out my own feelings of what is going on. I'll just pretend I'm alone in here.

I have been checking different agency webpages of children that are currently waiting in China for several months. Most have a special need but some are simply children that are older and their special need is just that- they are over the age of what most people want to adopt. Late last week I inquired about 2 little girls, one 6 years old, one 7 years old. The 6 year old had a special need that I felt I was willing to accept but after reading her file I didn't feel that 'connection' that made me think she might be right for us. I then inquired about the 7 year old who is by all measures, healthy. I could hardly keep my hiney on the chair with every paragraph I read. I instantly emailed J asking him just how quick we could financially afford an adoption. Of course, nothing is as quick as you'd like!

We discussed it Friday night and this morning I started calling agencies here in the state that could perform our homestudy if all of this comes to fruition. I honestly don't know how we would do it financially, but if this little girl is meant to be in our family I truly have faith that God will show us the way to make it happen. Christmas may be suspended for all except our children.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

I need to change the title

Well, after really examining the length of the "non-special needs" line for China I think we know that our child will not come from China unless she is a special needs child. Some special needs are really minor and things that we'd consider so the possibility is still there. We are now seriously looking at all of our options.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Getting dizzy

Gosh, I feel like my head is spinning. Who knew picking an agency would be so hard! We've added more to our list, I've scoured message boards and asked for opinions and we're still not any closer to a decision. I think if we were to follow through with a standard healthy child adoption we would have an easier time choosing because there are a couple that come highly recommended. The fact that we are considering a special needs child is what makes the decision much more complicated. We want to make sure we go with an agency that will give us the best service in a special needs adoption. So many with so many differences!

Still waiting on J.'s birth certificates to show up. After we get those we will be holding off on anymore documents. Everything has to be notarized within 6 months of the Chinese consulate receiving it. I really don't want to hand over any unnecessary money to re-do documents because they "expired." Once we choose an agency, move and figure out just exactly we will fund this journey we can start document collecting again.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Comments from others

We have decided to start telling people other than family and friends about our intent to adopt from China. Yesterday at church I had an older lady ask me "you...adopt more kids?" I responded with "yes" and she said "why, you already have so many; why you want more?" Hmmm... first awkward moment. I was thinking quickly yesterday and replied with "We have more love in our house to give." She responded with an OK and went quiet. I guess I am going to need some tougher skin because we are bound to get thoughtless comments about our family life; and not necessarily from strangers or acquaintances. I have a feeling some members of our own families don't truly understand why we want to do this or fully accept it yet. I don't think they manufacture skin tough enough to handle that.

Monday, March 3, 2008

Picking an Agency

We have looked at so many different agencies online. We've called or emailed to ask questions, requested their information and then thoroughly looked through it, watched their DVDs and we still have absolutely no idea which would be a better option for us to go with. We have narrowed it down to an agency in the same state we will live in (Holt International) or two China only agencies. (Great Wall or Chinese Children) The fees are relatively similar between the agencies; they vary by about $2,000 but each offers just slightly different services. China's adoption program is so regulated that each agency offers nearly the same services but can tailor it just slightly to their liking.

I haven't received the affidavit to change the spelling on my birth certificate yet. I can't begin to imagine what the wait is going to be like once our dossier is in China if I'm already anticipating the affidavit in the mail after 5 days.

I told J. a couple of days ago that whenever I think about our little Chinese daughter joining our family I see a face and her name is Ally (Alli, Ali, Allie, whatever we decide). If Matthew was a girl we had picked the name Allyson and probably would have called her Ally. Throughout the years I have found a couple other names I like more but anytime I think of a precious black haired, brown eyed Chinese daughter I think of calling her Ally.

Friday, February 29, 2008

Off to the Races

After several years of the thought of adoption in both of our heads and several weeks of truly hashing out details and talking to the kids we have decided to go forth and make our first step in adopting a little girl from China! I have always felt a calling from God to adopt internationally and knew I would never be able to fulfill that calling on my own accord. We are truly relying on faith at this time to lead us in the direction that is the best for our family. This is not an inexpensive way to add to our family as well, so we pray daily that God will lead us on our journey in a way that we can remain true to our debt free principles.

This will be a long road; we are merely at the starting line of a marathon. I want to jump the gun and start sprinting but I know that will only cause us to tire early and grow frustrated in the middle of the wait. China has the most extensive list of requirements of any country, we are starting now to gather those documents before our move so we can finish our home study once we move to MO. They also require an $80,000 net worth and we are just a bit short of that number. We may have to delay our dossier (paperwork packet) until we are able to meet that net worth requirement or find creative things to count as value. :)