Thursday, September 2, 2010

Letting the guard down

After reading many stories from other parents who adopted older children I expected Claire to resist affection from us and also not want to share affection with us either.  I was surprised when she kissed Daddy on the cheek the first day and didn't physically resist a hug.  In fact, she never resisted hugs or kisses so I was a bit surprised after reading that most older children do resist it.  I mean, I can understand not wanting someone you just met to hug you.

I never really thought much about it except for the fleeting thought of that it was one challenge we didn't have to work through.  That is until about a week or so ago.  Even though Claire didn't resist affection from us and would show us affection as well I noticed a shift in her; almost like a guard came down and we worked our ways into her heart a little more.

She hugs back now.  I mean really grabs on and hugs back instead of having her arms around us but we're really doing the hugging.  She seeks me out to give me a kiss.  When it's time for the kids to catch the bus they wait in our front yard until the bus starts coming down the street and then they hurry to to the bus stop.  Every day this week she has run back up to the front porch towards me.  The first day I said "what's wrong honey, did you forget something?" and she smiled and said "no, I give you kiss."  She had big puckered lips and laid a big fat kiss on my cheek and then ran off saying "bye bye Mommy, I love you."  It just made my heart melt.

She initiates the affection now and I can clearly see it is different than before; even though I didn't know before that anything was off.  It is so neat to see the guards come down and her heart fully open up to us.

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful. Oh and thats not just with older kids. In the last month or so I get kisses on my hand on my shirt on my pants my hair and if im turned around even on my butt. I get hugs hugs and more hugs. This is all new. She has always let us hold her and hug her but like your baby now she craves it. And I like you did not know any different till it changed. I am her mama now and she really really knows it:)